Design a Life You Don’t Need a Holiday From
and upgrade your work-life balance
How often do you find yourself counting down to your next holiday? Or Friday afternoon? Or retirement?
Don’t get me wrong, I love a holiday as much as anyone. I love exploring somewhere new, switching off and spending time with the people I love.
But a few years ago, I found myself asking a different question.
What if I designed a life that I didn’t need to escape from?
That question has shaped almost everything I’ve done since.
Your routine creates your work-life balance
When I left employment to become self-employed, I rebelled against routine. I’d spent years living according to someone else’s timetable.
⏰ Alarm clock
🚙 Commute
📊 Meetings
🔍 Reports
⌚️ Finish time
🍕 Eat
Sleep
🫨 Repeat
I felt I’d earned my freedom, so the last thing I wanted was more discipline. I wanted freedom and spontaneity!
Then my coach said something that completely changed my thinking. “The routine doesn’t have to be someone else’s. You can design your own.”
That was my lightbulb moment. I realised that routine wasn’t the problem; it was the lack of autonomy.
A routine designed by somebody else might feel restrictive but a routine you’ve created for yourself feels like freedom.
The trick is to write it in pencil. Because life changes. Your work changes. You change.
When your routine no longer serves you, you don’t have to keep following it out of habit. You can simply pick up the eraser, make a few changes and upgrade your work-life balance in a way that works for you.
Freedom isn’t the absence of routine
When I first became self-employed, I thought freedom meant having no structure at all. And yet I found the opposite was true.
Freedom (and a great work-life balance) comes from creating a routine that supports the life you want to live.
For me, that means protecting Monday mornings. I enjoy easing gently into the week rather than diving straight into meetings. And, I hardly ever schedule a meeting before 11 am because I want to walk Harvey Dog, have breakfast with my husband, Steve, and potter in the garden.
It means finishing early on Friday afternoons whenever I can. If the weather is glorious or friends suggest a spontaneous weekend away, I don’t want work getting in the way.
It even means leaving space on a Saturday afternoon. While Steve is happily watching the sport, I often choose to catch up on writing, planning or coaching resources. It’s quiet, uninterrupted time that suits me perfectly.
None of that happened by accident. It’s all been designed. And because I designed it, it never feels restrictive.
“I have to” or “I choose to”
One of the biggest drivers of motivation is autonomy. Feeling that we have some control over our lives changes everything.
Compare these two thoughts:
“I have to get up early for work.”
“I choose to get up an hour earlier and have an hour for myself.”
The first feels like another demand that could easily lead to burnout. The second feels like a gift.
Perhaps that extra hour is spent going for a walk. Or reading. Or writing in your journal. Maybe it’s as simple as enjoying your first coffee in peace. You could be visualising the day ahead or repeating a few affirmations. A combination of all of those things and you’re practising The Miracle Morning!*
Whatever you choose, you’ve started the day intentionally rather than reactively.
That’s a very different energy.
If you’re self-employed, remember this: you’re the boss now. So be the best boss you’ve ever had! Don’t expect yourself to work twelve-hour days without breaks. Give yourself time to think, to learn, to rest and to enjoy the life you started your business to create.
“That’s all very well if you’re self-employed…”
I know what some of you are thinking.
“That’s easy for you to say. I don’t have that kind of freedom.”
It’s true that employment comes with fewer choices. I remember only too well commuting from Gloucester to Bristol every day when I worked in retail management. The idea of getting up at 5 am to go for a walk before work wasn’t realistic. My workdays were already long enough, thank you very much! (And my work-life balance was pretty poor, most of the time!)
So I didn’t.
Instead, on my days off, I’d head to the hills for a long walk. Once or twice a week was enough to remind me who I was outside work.
And, even during busy workdays, I found tiny moments of autonomy.
Between my parking spot and the store entrance was a beautiful flowering shrub. I still have no idea what it was, but every summer it smelled incredible. Every day I’d slow down for just a few seconds and breathe it in.
Today we’d probably call that mindfulness. Back then, I just knew it made me smile.
Sometimes that’s enough.
Small choices create a big life
Even if you don’t control your working hours, you may have more autonomy than you realise. Consider these questions:
- Could you step outside for five minutes at lunchtime?
- Use your commute to listen to an inspiring podcast?
- Or, if you’re travelling safely hands-free, phone someone you love?
- Could you swap the old-fashioned cigarette break for a fresh-air break?
- Could you decide that the first ten minutes of every morning belong to you rather than your inbox?
Small choices rarely change your life overnight. But repeated every day, they quietly shape the person you become.
Self-care is important… but it isn’t always enough
Many people already have regular maintenance in place.
💅 Beauty appointments.
💆🏻♀️ Massages.
🧘♀️ Yoga classes.
⚽️ Football on a Tuesday evening.
☕️ Coffee with friends.
Those things matter. Please don’t stop doing them.
But if you still feel permanently overwhelmed… If the feeling of relaxation disappears almost as soon as you’ve left the salon… If you’re already dreading Monday before Sunday lunch… It might not be because you need another massage.
It might be because something deeper needs your attention.
Perhaps your routine needs redesigning. Perhaps your boundaries need strengthening. Perhaps the reason your work-life balance is off is that your work no longer fits the life you want to live.
So, perhaps it’s time to ask a bigger question.
Who designed the life you’re living?
Was it you?
Or did it happen gradually…one meeting, one commitment, one expectation, one diary entry at a time?
Sometimes we don’t notice that our diary has gradually become full of everybody else’s priorities.
- Our employer.
- Our clients.
- Our family.
- Our inbox.
- Our commitments.
Until one day we realise we’ve forgotten to include ourselves and we’re heading for trouble. The risk of burnout is real at this point.
We know that prevention is always better than cure.
Of course, doctors and therapists play an essential role when we are physically unwell or struggling with our mental health. But before things reach a crisis point, coaching can provide the space to pause, reflect and redesign. Sometimes the most powerful form of self-care isn’t booking another holiday.
Sometimes it’s redesigning the life that’s making you need the holiday in the first place.
Pick up your pencil!
One of my favourite sayings is: Rules are written in pencil. ✏️
The same is true of your routine. Your career. Your goals. Even your life.
Nothing says you have to keep living by a plan that no longer fits. So don’t wait until your next holiday to feel like yourself again.
Pick up your pencil. Rub out the parts that no longer work. Think about the healthy routines you’d like to introduce. And start designing a life you don’t need a holiday from.
📘 Recommended reading: The Miracle Morning* by Hal Elrod
